I remember being told by my girlfriend on more than one occasion that I needed to “show up” for her. Usually, this occurred when she was not pleased with me for some reason, and, a couple of times, due to her frustration, her plea was accompanied by a piercing expletive that decorum prevents me from publicizing. Anyway, I recently heard her voice in my head again as I was facing some difficult issues with my business. Painfully, I came to realize I needed to show up for myself much more than I had been doing when it came to keeping track of my income and expenses, including planning a new way to generate revenue in this COVID-19 economy. After holding an emergency meeting with myself, I realized there were several key factors that I needed to do more consistently in order to show up for myself. By sharing these insights I hope they will inspire you to “S.H.O.W. U.P.” in the critical areas of your life, too.
“S” stands for “Stay Focused”. Often we get pulled in many different directions in the process of attempting to accomplish our goals in business and life. While we may be crossing off items on our “To Do” list, we need to be asking ourselves “Are these tasks the most important ones to accomplishing my bigger and more meaningful goals? And if not, “Why am I spending precious time doing these tasks instead of the other ones?” Another way of asking that question is “What gain or benefit do I get by continuing NOT to focus on the more important areas where I need to be taking action?” The answer to that question is not always immediately known, but if you give yourself time and permission to honestly reflect, you may find out that by not staying focused on the important stuff, you are setting yourself up for failure or sabotaging yourself; which may be in line with false beliefs you hold subconsciously about your worthiness of love and/or success. By doing things in an unfocused and scattered approach, you may be preventing yourself from showing up for your own life and relationships in the way you truly desire.
“H” stands for “Honoring Your Truth”. For most of my life, I got caught up living unaware that I was honoring false beliefs about myself, i.e. that I was unworthy of love, happiness, or success. Not surprisingly, the decisions I made and the efforts (or lack thereof) I put forth (despite desires and dreams to the contrary) resulted in a manifestation of those well-rooted false beliefs, i.e. unhealthy relationships and unsatisfying jobs and careers. I was swimming upstream. As the saying goes, “In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true, either is true or becomes true.” I believe our truth is our best version of ourselves. Our truth is evidenced when we exhibit behaviors and actions that spring from love. It is also no coincidence that we are at our most powerful, too, when we operate from love. We are able to handle people and situations with compassion and grace. We are more effective leaders and listeners. We are all fundamentally worthy of love, abundance, and peace. It’s just up to us at some point to believe that to be true. When we do, then our words and actions begin to honor our actual truth and we can manifest the life and relationships to bring us sustained joy and peace.
“O” stands for Opening Your Heart. For some this may seem like a no-brainer and easy to do. If you’re like me, however, this has been a most challenging task as my heart was like a fortress. A hard heart may be helpful in competitive sports or competing in court, but in the long run, having an open heart that allows love to flow in and out is a much greater asset for success. It leads to much more meaningful relationships, whether they be personal or business. A closed heart leads only to a transactional existence, which, if you are a computer is fine, but as a human being is sad and certainly not the way we are intended to live. At various times, I’ve operated in business and life with a closed heart and an open one. I can tell you firsthand, the heart open experiences far outweigh any “successes” or “victories’ with a closed heart.
“W” stands for Worship. I make worship and prayer a part of my daily routine in an effort to deepen my relationship with a supernatural force or God. I find it helps to gain clarity, perspective, and purpose. I remind myself to be grateful for just being alive and existing, regardless of what problems or pain I might be experiencing at the moment. Tapping into a supernatural force daily is also a reminder to set aside my ego and humble myself before a deity far more powerful and wiser than any of us. Worship is not always easy for me because it includes having an intention to surrender to God’s will and plan for my life. This flies in the face of how I’ve lived my entire life for the most part, but since I did not do such a great job captaining my own boat, I have concluded I need help from The Man Upstairs much more than I’d like to admit. Worship opens up deeper channels within yourself to receive the source of love and grace needed to overcome the many obstacles that you will encounter in your lifetime.
“U” stands for “Use Your Gifts and Talents”. Why do we avoid doing this so often? How many people are living quiet lives of desperation because they have not decided to use the gifts and talents they were given to either earn a living or contribute to humanity in some significant way? That is tragic. The fear and doubt that often block us from using our gifts and talents are just products of thoughts we have in our minds. It’s an excuse that we use when convenient or necessary. Just look around…there is always someone who has overcome more obstacles, fear, or doubt than you or I will ever likely face; yet they still made a decision to use their gifts and talents. Using our gifts and talents is a natural extension of being human. It’s “unnatural” not to do so. While one can live a life with purpose and be “successful” even without using their gifts and talents, it’s hard to argue that a life lived using your gifts and talents would not be more satisfying in the long run. What are you really waiting for? There will never be a perfect time to start using your unique gifts and talents. Showing up means not allowing yourself to accept any more excuses.
“P” stands for Persistence. It’s not enough to stay focused, honor your truth, open your heart, worship, and use your gifts/talents. In order to obtain the goals you desire, there is no escaping that you will need persistence. Nothing worthwhile is just handed to you. There will always be a need for significant effort and for overcoming obstacles. Moreover, the greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. Persistence is that killer ingredient that enables all of the above-mentioned co-ingredients to fuse together into a masterful recipe producing results exponentially far greater than you could ever imagine. Persistence is getting off the floor when you’ve been knocked down more than once. It’s ignoring all the logical reasons to stay down. It’s also not paying attention to the negative crowd noise or critical voices in your head (except, of course, the one from your girlfriend shouting for you to “Show the @!*% Up”).
©2020 Lawrence D. Eichen, Esq. All Rights Reserved.