You can’t steal second base and keep one foot on first.
– Frederick B. Wilson
Negotiating or asking for what you really want often requires courage. Whenever courage is the topic it necessarily requires a discussion about fear and doubt, as these two culprits consistently challenge our ability to act courageously. Often we hear courage defined as: “feeling fearful but taking action anyway”. In the context of negotiating that can mean simply asking for the sale or asking for what you really want in a relationship. Sometimes it may mean picking up the phone to call that big potential client and sometimes courage can mean just standing firm in your demands.
If you find yourself consistently feeling less than courageous when it comes to selling or negotiating, courage may first mean having the courage to look inside yourself to ascertain what exactly is causing you to experience the fear or doubt that’s getting in the way? For example, many negotiations do not turn out the way we want because we have a “fear” of what the other party may think or how they might feel about what we are asking for.
Having a healthy concern about somebody else’s potential thoughts or feelings is one thing but being overly concerned or fearful is a different animal and needs to be addressed. You will never be able to negotiate effectively if you have a case of FOOPO (Fear Of Other People’s Opinions). Spending the extra time to honestly assess whether you are suffering from a bout of FOOPO will be time well spent. The assessment may be humbling or even painful but working through any issues to overcome FOOPO will pay far greater dividends to you in the long run.
You have what it takes inside you already to be courageous. Our natural instincts are to be courageous. It’s only our limiting beliefs that get in the way. Once you bring them to the light, you clear the way for naturally courageous behavior.
